As you may know, Entourage is a movie now and it will probably go on to win several Oscars so we thought we might like to make a version for ants, to help with ant-human relations.
Entourage is basically cultural shorthand for anything that is super smart, well respected by critics, and definitely intended to appeal the hippest of the hip. Saying the sentence "I like Entourage" is good to do.
So here is a script for Antourage.
*I never really watched the show but I know the characters are E, Vince, Turtleman, and uh... Ross and Jeremy Piven*
Vince: E how long have we been having this conversation bro.. I'll never make it big unless we move to ant Hollywood.
E: Ok.
Vince: Come on we'll bring the whole crew. The other two ants and us. The crew!!
E: Ok.
Vince: bro we gotta go get it!!!
[2 weeks later in ant Hollywood]
Vincent: We did it bros! The movie I'm in is a huge success and I owe it all to my bros from back home!
Jeremy Piven: Boom motherfuckers!! [does bad karate chop] suck my dick!
Turtleman: This is so rad! Life is tight and chill.
Ross: I can feel my hair.
[later at the club]
Vince: hey ant ladies why don't you meet my friend, E.
E: Actually Vince I'm a huge pussy.
Vince: ...ok. Ladies, Turtleman. Turtleman, ladies.
Turtleman: SCHWING!
[The next day, fishing Ross's body out of their swimming pool]
Turtleman: Bros... I can't believe Ross just straight up went and drowned in our pool. This shit is seriously subtractatory to my cosmic soundscape atm [vapes some pink liquid]
E: Actually, millions of ants drown in pools every year. Face it guys, it's a reality. Our shit isn't viable anymore. We gotta go back to ant Boston or wherever.
Vince: Guys come on live a little... it's what T-man woulda wanted. Let's go find some human's old lollipop and run around on top of it for a little while.
Jeremy Piven: Alright I'm gonna go beat the shit out of a homeless guy.
*background noise conversation to make everything seem natural: someone says "wouldn't it be funny if we were all named Jemima?"
[Later at the ant morgue]
Vince: First Ross and now Turtleman. This major league sucks, E!
E: I know man this is overall not very good as far as viability goes. I knew Turtleman shouldn't have bought that candied rat poison. It's just not viable.
Vince: So anyways I was thinking for my next project I could play a skimboarding dog.
E: Face it Vince, Ross and Turtleman didn't last 2 weeks in Hollywood. This isn't right. I'm going back to Chicago.
Jeremy Piven: Good lord E, you suck so much and nobody respects you. What a pussy. Listen, Vince, here are a couple of movies that were just offered to you... First there's one where you are a hot young ant named Gershwin and you are great at piano but then Sandra Bullock comes and makes you play ant football and then you kill yourself.
There's another that's a remake of Antz where you play the Woody Allen one except you die right away.
And the third is Fight 93.
Vince: I'm super into all this shit dude. I'll do it.
Jeremy Piven: I made up the first two.
Vince: What the fuck?! ok well what's the deal with Flight 93.
Jeremy Piven: Done deal. Totally happening.
Vince: When do I start?
Jeremy Piven: You gotta audition first.
Vince: What? Why are you lying to me repeatedly?
Jeremy Piven: KOBE BEEF BABY HIYAAA
[E gets stepped on by a 6 year old human, dying instantly. credits roll]
